The Little Things

The apartment is bare, except for a bucket of dry wall compound to patch all the nail holes. As I looked around before I locked up Saturday night, I couldn’t help but think how much things have changed in such a short time. Finishing the move this weekend, I had some time to reflect in one of the places I got to know Pete best.

While we all search for answers/meaning/healing in our own ways, I came to some of my own. As shock is replaced by reality, I find that the emptiness of the apartment is reflective of how so many are feeling, including myself. As challenging as it is, I’ve been searching for some hope/inspiration to what else it could mean.

The first thing that came to my mind was the story Mrs. Gruber referenced, and Pete’s resounding message within. He set out, at a very early age, to be the best person he could be to everyone around him. He was always there for me, and many others, no matter what the situation. He saw the importance of the little things, the smallest and simplest gestures that can have a huge impact.

Trying to put things into perspective, I came to the conclusion that the apartment metaphor isn’t just an ending, rather, a new beginning, one that I came face to face with today…

“I found a fourth!” was one of my favorite sayings from Pete. I can’t think of the last time I was on a golf course without him in the cart next to me. Today was the first time in a long time that I’ll head to the course without him. At times, I caught myself waiting to hear him call me “Sally” after shorting an easy putt or pop out of the tree line with six balls, none of them his. From keeping tabs on Kurt’s real score and understanding how golf carts handle on wet surfaces, to discussing matters of the heart, our hopes, dreams and ambitions; it was special. There was a lot more to those days than 18 holes.

As much as I’m going to think about and miss him for everything down the road: weddings, kids, getting old together. It’s going to be the little things: golf, Jeopardy, love of hot sauce and countless other “not so random anymore” things that will always put a smile on my face and keep his memory, impact and friendship alive forever in my mind and in my heart.