Found and Coming Home

The TN Campbell County Sheriff, Gary Perkins, called this evening around 8pm to advise us that Pete's recovery is complete. Pete's body surfaced today and was spotted at 7pm by an off-duty police officer. The Univ of Tenn Medical Center in Knoxville will conduct an autopsy tomorrow and Pete will be returned home thereafter. We will lay Peter to rest in our family burial plot in Glendale at Oak Hill Cemetery.

We are thankful and grateful to so many people for the love, support and compassion given to us over the last 36 days. We are in awe of how many lives Pete touched and impacted in his short life. We are proud of the gentleman he was and are grateful for the love of neighbors, friends and family who have seen us through this tragedy and loss.

Blessings and love,
Helene, Bob and Paul

The Little Things

The apartment is bare, except for a bucket of dry wall compound to patch all the nail holes. As I looked around before I locked up Saturday night, I couldn’t help but think how much things have changed in such a short time. Finishing the move this weekend, I had some time to reflect in one of the places I got to know Pete best.

While we all search for answers/meaning/healing in our own ways, I came to some of my own. As shock is replaced by reality, I find that the emptiness of the apartment is reflective of how so many are feeling, including myself. As challenging as it is, I’ve been searching for some hope/inspiration to what else it could mean.

The first thing that came to my mind was the story Mrs. Gruber referenced, and Pete’s resounding message within. He set out, at a very early age, to be the best person he could be to everyone around him. He was always there for me, and many others, no matter what the situation. He saw the importance of the little things, the smallest and simplest gestures that can have a huge impact.

Trying to put things into perspective, I came to the conclusion that the apartment metaphor isn’t just an ending, rather, a new beginning, one that I came face to face with today…

“I found a fourth!” was one of my favorite sayings from Pete. I can’t think of the last time I was on a golf course without him in the cart next to me. Today was the first time in a long time that I’ll head to the course without him. At times, I caught myself waiting to hear him call me “Sally” after shorting an easy putt or pop out of the tree line with six balls, none of them his. From keeping tabs on Kurt’s real score and understanding how golf carts handle on wet surfaces, to discussing matters of the heart, our hopes, dreams and ambitions; it was special. There was a lot more to those days than 18 holes.

As much as I’m going to think about and miss him for everything down the road: weddings, kids, getting old together. It’s going to be the little things: golf, Jeopardy, love of hot sauce and countless other “not so random anymore” things that will always put a smile on my face and keep his memory, impact and friendship alive forever in my mind and in my heart.

Moving Day

Andy Butz will need a little encouragement and love; we finished moving Pete's furniture this evening. It was totally hard for us to not only do this but to also look at the empty apartment. We know it is hard on Andy too.

We were blessed with a gift from friends who own a moving company. They supplied labor and the truck and in 3 hours, we have it all cleared out. These friends would not take payment from us so I thought we'd share their business information and if any of you need moving services in the future, these are great people to call: Move It Now 513-942-7225. Greg Brothers and his son Tony donated their time to help us.

My role was to strip the bed linens (I may never wash Pete's pillow case), finish clearing out the small stuff and carry out all the full dresser drawers to the truck. When we arrived home, the truck had to stay parked on the street (of course!) and so I was shlepping those drawers all the way into the house and up the stairs. At one point, I swear I heard Pete giggling about the huffing and puffing effort we were putting out. So that got my interest up. And as I walked the drawers that long distance, I started to notice the stuff that was inside of them. Amazing, all the stuff he took from us! My styptic pencil, my lotion, my first aid box, and more. Even my special worn out paddle tennis balls which I use in the dryer when laundering my down comforters. Son of a gun, that kid had my stuff!! I swear he laughed out right at my discovery!

So, the dread that I have been feeling about having to go thru his things, has now been replaced with curiosity! I'm kinda looking forward to the adventure.

I offer you friends, that if there is something of Pete's that you would like to have as a momento, please let me know and I will find it and send it to you. Sorry, but I think Mark Piepmeier has dibs on his pink strip tie.

Love,
Helene

Video Slideshow

I am working on getting copies of the slideshow made ASAP. Please bear with me because I am in the process of starting a new job. The production should go quick soon (especially if I can teach Scherzinger how to make them).

Also, if you haven't already noticed, there is a Youtube account created for the slideshow. The link is located on the right side of the blog. Please feel free to make some comments or provide suggestions.

If you have any video of Pete that you feel would be nice to share with everyone, please let me know and we can find a way to get it posted. If there are enough video clips, we might be able to edit them into a nice show.

Thanks and I appreciate all of the positive feedback on the slideshow, but most of the credit goes to both Paul Gruber and Kurt Scherzinger, who without their direction, it would not have come together like it did.

-Kurt Oblinger
K.Oblinger@gmail.com

The Circle of Life

Sitting on my front porch, Dayton style, on a Monday night, Midnight in fact, drinking some beers and smoking some Marlboros all I can think of is Pete. I think of the past weeks, how hard they have been and trying to seek some answers to my dumbfoundedness.

So here is what I have come up with...

Shortly after Saturday's well-needed celebration of Pete's life, Kate and I left Cincinnati at 6:45 AM to head back to St. Louis to become Godparents at the baptism of our 6 mo. old niece Annie (Annie Bananie). She is the most beautiful little girl one could ever hope for I must add. When we got to the church all the kids were there (Jack 7, Sam 5, Will 3.5, Libby 2 and of course, Annie 6 mo.), cheerful as ever, and there was my little Annie, happy to see me as if I hadn't been around in forever. When I saw her, all I wanted to do was embrace her little frame and thank God for the special things in life, so I did. As the baptism went on, all Kate and I could think about was Pete and how the weekend seemed such a blur. As one child played gameboy munching on fruit snacks, another throwing crayons around the church as if they were jarts, I looked at how they perceived life. "When would my batteries die on my gameboy and did my mom bring more", or "what if I broke off the tip of my red crayon, could I still color the horsies?" It seems funny to think about because of what is happening to me, but I realized, those were the days. Nothing to worry about except for those small things. Anyways, soon after, the baptism was over and Kate and I were in the car heading to another celebration, the celebration of Annie's baptism. As soon as we entered the car, Kate had tears in her eyes and I asked her what was wrong, she pointed out the baptismal candle and how it was a symbol both in Pete's mass and Little Annie's baptism. How blind was I not to see this. This is life, one goes away and another shines in. Since that day I can't forget it and I probably never will.

Last and definitely not least to complete the circle, I get a call from Paul Zlatic last Thursday, which stiffens my realization above. Around lunch time here in St. Louis he calls with great news, TWINS!! I couldn't help but refer back to my feelings about the baptism and make sense of all these great things.

How could God create such grief, yet create such happiness in ones life? It seems life revolves in many ways, unfortunately one of those ways is up-side down.

I surround myself mostly with what-ifs these days. What if I stayed in Cincinnati? Would I be a roommate of Pete's? What if I had made it back there more often? What if I could make one more memory with Pete? What if I could change the way I feel by just having one last day with Pete? Then I think about the "Circle of Life", the new life I have created here with Kate in St. Louis (no, not a baby, so don't think crazy). I know I can't regret one of those things because of what I now have to look forward to, but they still flood my mind.

All I know is that Pete was an awesome person, stubborn yet loving, honest, sometimes too honest (smile, you know what I'm saying), truthful, understanding and full of life. I think of him as Pete "Mr. Personality" Gruber these late days.

Love you Pete. I'll see you around.

Trinity and Beyond

Though I met Pete my freshman year at UD through Richie, my best memories of him are from senior year on Trinity. Pete became quite a fixture at our house even before he and Leigh started dating. Whether he was driving up our front yard in his jeep, throwing our lawn chairs on the roof, riding his bike into our bushes, or waking us up at 10am on a Saturday running through the house jumping on our beds letting us know it was time to start the day, he was always in a good mood, and looking to have some fun.

Pete always had such a calm manner about him that made me believe that everything would be ok. He was the one who convinced me in my grade-induced panic that I was not going to fail Dr. King’s MGT 301 class, even though I failed all the tests – and he was right – (he also of course had to show me that he had aced one of the tests – just so I knew it was possible).

Mostly what I remember about Pete, especially in the last 4 years since Dayton, is how crazy he was about Leigh, how happy they were and how much fun they had together (especially with a roll of orange 99 cent stickers on a certain Super Bowl Sunday at 1912). I only hope that I’m as lucky as they were to have a love so strong and true, and to have found that love so early on in life.

To everyone who mourns for Pete – my heart, thoughts, and prayers are with you. Through our tears and laughter and stories of Pete – we must remember to lean on one another. I would imagine it’s what Pete would have wanted. It’s through our memories and holding on to each other that we will all get through this.

Love you Pete.

Our Precious Peter

We have returned home from Norris Lake with heavy hearts after an unsuccessful 5-day intensive search for Peter's body. Our new friends, Gene and Sandy Ralston from Idaho, combed every square inch of the lake bottom utilizing high tech sonar and ROV cameras. They sweltered in the heat to find Pete and at night we would view the pictures/ data of thousands of objects on the very clear and sandy lake bottom, including beer cans, coolers, tires, a boat, etc. But Pete's body is simply not there. The cadaver dogs came back out and also no luck. Miles of shoreline were and are being checked daily, but no Pete. A mystery, a puzzle and no sense to anyone, including the rescue teams, detectives and lake residents.

Bob, Paul and I want to thank everyone for all the many prayers, love and blessings that you have sent our way. This blog site has touched us to the very core and we thank Zach and Katie Hicks for creating this vehicle for our healing. We love your stories and sharing Pete's impact on your lives. We always thought he was a very special person with an enormous heart and we are comforted to know that he touched so many lives in the same way that he did ours.

While we struggle to make sense of this whole tragedy, we continue to learn a lot from Pete. We have learned that his friends loved him as we did; that his kindness, humor and passion for life made the world a little better place; that Pete achieved what he set out to do at age 13, as recorded in his written story of his life- "to be the best friend, brother, son, husband" that he could be. Pete knew at a young age that life isn't about shallow relationships. He recognized and worked to develop deep interpersonal relations with everyone. And your stories confirm that he succeeded.

We are proud of Pete and the joy he brought to us in so many ways, including all of you. He was always a man of character. Our thanks are too numerous to mention everyone, but allow us to note a few key persons who have been of great support:
Zach & Katie Hicks- peterman's blog
Paul Zlatic- his faith and ministry to Pete and the UD group and us in planning the liturgy
Dan Rodenfels- Pete's clone and confidant to us
Andy Butz- roommate and friend
Kurt Oblinger & Kurt Scherzinger- for the beautiful video of Pete's life
Grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins for their strength and support
St Gabriel teachers and family
Moeller family
UD family and friends
Dan Curran, President of UD who attended Pete's service
Pete's work family
Juvenile Court and St Elizabeth work family
Our Glendale neighbors and community who have rallied behind us
and all the other friends who came to call and offered support

To Pete's friends, we ask..please don't forget us. When the babies arrive and the joys and sorrows of your life come, please keep in touch with us. Pete would want us to continue to be the second parents/ friends that we were when he was living. You are important to us and will continue to be. We love you forever.

Pete lived a full and wonderful life in his short time with us. Our only regret is that he died without the support of loving family and friends right at his side. Pete would never have abandoned anyone in their time of need and he deserved to have that same love and respect. We know from all your kind entries that you would have stayed and been there with him, and us, throughout the search. And we take comfort in that and thank you for loving him too.

Our thanks. love and blessings-
Helene

I miss you.

Prayer to St. Anthony

Prayer to St. Anthony
Feast Day: June 13

O Saint Anthony, Saint of Miracles, Saint of Help. We also have need of your assistance; We have need of this special favor for all intentions and prayers to be heard for our dear Peter.

Therefore, console all in this present necessity and grant all the help that, with full confidence, we hope for.

Amen.

As I sit waiting for Kim to get me from the airport in Columbus, I started looking through more pics I had of Pete. All of which represent great times and memories. I wanted to share them with you. Miss and Love you Peterman!

Pete I am going to miss you!

Pete was like a big brother to me, since he was my brother’s best friend. I remember all the good times I had with Pete and him always giving me a hard time. Every time I would see him the past couple of years he would be like “hey, hey where are your cowboy boots” and I would say “I wore them just for you Pete”. I have known Pete just as long as my brother we use to go to Frishes every Friday morning before we went to school. Going to Steamboat with Pete and my brother was quite an experience, with our 30 hour bus ride. Pete was always there, at my brothers and always smiling and laughing at something. When my brother picked me to be his best man at his wedding I couldn’t have been happier and Pete was standing right next to me. If I didn’t happen to be related to my brother Pete would have been the best man not to mention he did the hard part of being the best man he planed the whole bachelor party for me and was always there, I even called him the honorary best man. Pete I am going to miss you but I know my brother is going to miss you even more!

Pete the man with a world of good friends

It has taken me over a week to come up with what I wanted to say about Pete and though I've thought of a thousand memories I hope I can put a few of them together that will do justice to how good a friend he was to me. Pete was easily one of my absolute best friends and he gave me a lot over the 12 or so years I was fortunate enough to share with him. I first met Pete in high school our freshman year...having our names so close in spelling we sat next to each other in homeroom and half a dozen classes over our four years at Moeller. During the first two years we only talked a little but had a lot of laughs, as Pete was always a joker even then...by Junior year though we talked every morning in homeroom and became really good friends hanging out after school a ton as well... I remember a lot of conversations often about things we wanted to accomplish in our lives, college decisions (I think Pete always wanted to go to UD, so not much to decide there), major choices, where we wanted to live after college...etc. It wasn't always so serious of course but I always found Pete to be really sincere, honest, and deep. He had a lot of dreams and aspirations and we became such close friends because we shared a lot of the same goals and because we each found it so easy to discuss these types of real life ideas and experiences. Pete was one of the top people I went to for advice and I can remember several specific instances in which the advice he gave me really helped me out. I owe two other great friendships to Pete as well, Mark and Kurt who through Pete I met and spent most of high school, college, and to this day, hanging out with.

We had a ton of fun and memorable times together from friday morning breakfasts at Frischs senior year, our senior trip to Europe after high school, the infamous houseboat trips, celebrating our birthdays together (two days apart), weddings, and on and on. The last several years since college we still got together every other month or so and Libby and I especially looked forward to seeing Pete and Leigh even when in a larger group...I think its because we always had such great, meaniful, and hilarious conversations with Pete and because he was always so genuinley interested in everything that was going on in our lives...Pete was actually the most excited and congradulatory of all my friends when I told him we were pregnant this past January....he was always offering advice when needed, congratulations or support and always a laugh with his sarcastic wise cracks to keep things fun...which reminds me of something...I have another good friend who had met Pete several times over the years...in a conversation the friend once referred to Pete as "Sarcastic Pete" ...that has popped in my head almost everytime I have seen or talked to Pete since...he had a really unique sense of humor that once you understood was absolutely hilarious. Another story about Pete's humor came last summer...we were at a Pool party with Pete and Leigh...I had a surgery on my right shoulder about two years ago that left me with a pretty nasty looking scar...someone had asked me about it and I told them the techincal version of what it was, etc....Pete ever trying to make things brighter and more lighthearted...or at least comical...told me that from then on whenever I got asked about the scar I should instead tell this story: "this scar is from the day my best friend Pete saved my life...I was radomly shot by a passing by thug...Pete pulled the bullet from my arm with his bare hands and stitched me up on the spot...of course he didn't know what he was doing which is why the scar is so big but he saved me". It was funny to say the least and it has made me smile ever since when I get asked about the scar...I think it always will. Though Pete may have never "saved" my life, he certainly added so much to it and strenghten it in so many ways.

The last thing I wanted to say about Pete goes with a saying "You can tell a lot about a person by the people they associate themselves with". Well Pete was surrounded by the largest group of close friends of anyone I've ever known...not just aquantences, but good friends that he regularly talked with. I have always remarked to my wife how amaizing the sheer size of his circle of friends is and it truly says a lot about how great, how caring, how special Pete was that he has such a huge group of friends who are all such good, and caring people. It has been another of my great privelages to have met and known all of you through Pete over these years and I am so thankful to him for allowing me to make all of you my friends and add so much to my life.

Pete I will always carry with me the pieces of you that you have shared with me and I thank you for all these years of friendship, support, and laughs.

Love ya man!

Justin














Our birthdays this year - "White Trash Bash" surprise party my wife put together...Pete was always a snazzy dresser!

Good Times...

I cannot remember when it was exactly that Pete and I first met but I do know that I cannot think of a single memory that does not include him.  Pete was always a great friend to me.  He could always make me laugh and I could always count on him to be there for me if I needed him.  He often felt more like a brother to me than a friend however.  He smashed cake in my face at our graduation party and then licked it off of me, he threw my phone across a room because he said that I was from 1990 with my Nextel and he ended up breaking the antenna off, he chased me around his house on New Year's Even junior year and that lead to his mom's Santa falling out of a hutch and breaking, he would call me and email me whenever the Philadelphia Eagles lost and rubbed it in my face, and the stories could go on and on.  I did want to share however a short story about a conversation Pete and I had a few months ago at a friends wedding.  We were standing outside during the reception and we randomly found ourselves talking about our lives, our careers, our goals and our futures.  Pete was talking about his job and we were congratulating each other on the success we were both having.  Pete was also telling me how truly happy he was for me that I had someone as terrific as Adam in my life.  Then he started talking about how much he loved Leigh and was looking forward to advancing in his career so that he could provide for her in the future.  I never told Leigh that story but felt it was appropriate to share it.  Pete truly cared about everyone is his life.  I will never forget the friend Pete was to me and I know he is looking down on me and all of us everyday.  You will be missed.  Love you!

What could be better than fishbowls at the Fieldhouse?

I decided to surprise everyone in Cinci 2 years ago by coming in town for St. Patty's Day.  Pete was standing on Kurt and Alicia's porch as I came walking up to the house.  His face was priceless when he saw that it was me.  I am glad I showed up, otherwise I would have missed a lot of Pete's shenanigans as you can see above.
Pete was my date to formal senior year and I couldn't have asked for a better dancing buddy or drinking buddy for that matter.  He kept buying bottles of Andre's from the Deli while we waited for the bus...so just like any other night, we cannonballed each bottle.  
    Cabrewing...our canoes tipped so many times, we lost many personal items...including Pete's       contact which I somehow managed to knock out of his eye with my paddle.

     Taste of Cincinnati - Memorial Day Weekend 

I think the picture speaks for itself.

Favorite Memories Of Pete and UD

This is one of my all time favorite Pictures. The minute I started looking though my pictures I knew I had to find this picture. Pete was a good person and always knew how to make you laugh. He was considered one of the Crazy Fun Cincy Boys that we hung out with all of Jr and Sr year. With Memories like that dice game that we sat around hours playing, chugging milk ( one of my favorites) Canon Ball, opening the Hills, just hanging out at 425 Lowes and so many more that make me smile just thinking about them.

I am thankful that Pete came into my life. He taught me how to live life to the fullest and love every minute of it.

I love you Pete and Will miss you dearly.

Memorial DVD

Kurt Scherzinger contacted me about setting up a slideshow in memory of Pete. This is the least that I can do since Pete was such a good friend and the entire Gruber family truly means a lot to me. Many of you probably received some sort of E-mail from Butz about this, but here is the reminder...

Please send any pictures you have to Kurt Scherzinger via E-mail at kurtscherz@hotmail.com.

Also, if you know of any music that you feel would be appropriate for the slideshow, please send me some suggestions at k.oblinger@gmail.com. If you have any other ideas or suggestions, please feel free to contact me with them.

This memorial slideshow will be in DVD format and I will try to produce as many copies as possible before the two services. Please allow any out of town family to take a copy first, followed by out of town friends. I will make sure that we get enough copies made for everyone, but those in the Cincinnati area might have to wait a little bit for them.

Pete & the Blue Suede Slippers

I can't stop smiling when I think of this. It was during the summer of Pete's Sophomore year at UD and everyone was at our house (Molly's pad, lower level). Pete decided to go for a midnight swim (in the pond) and in the process lost one of his shoes. Molly came up and told Ellen & I that Pete needed some shoes to wear, so Ellen proceeded to give him the ugliest slippers/shoes in my closet-Blue Suede Slip-ons-I have no idea how or why I ever had them-hopefully, I never wore them, but anyway Pete had 'em now.

We didn't think anymore of this until move-in day at UD. After we had finished the move-in with Molly, we proceeded to drive around and visit everyone's new digs. As we walked up to Pete's porch, we about lost it when we see Pete with a beer in one hand, cigarette in the other, and on his feet are the Blue Suede Slippers. Pete wore them with much more style than I ever could have.

Pete, we will definitely miss you and your zest for life but think of you often-so in that respect you are still here!!

James & Ellen Heimert

what a great moment...

As you know, Mel and I were pretty much camera nazis in college so here are some classic Pete pictures for your enjoyment...

Pete (as we all know) loved to pull pranks. I don't have too many pictures of evidence, however I know anyone at New Years 2003 will recall this moment -

* and if you missed them, please take a moment to honor those slippers...

and who could forget when Perrich wanted to shave his head (please notice the intensity on Petes face):



more Daytona:



Dayton randoms:



lowesfest = trouble.

senior year, a few of us were all on metanioa together. i may butcher the exact words (and i hope i am not breaking any rules here) but while there each participant had the opportunity to share their story with the rest of the group. Most stories are soul searching and a time when people can stand in a public forum and dispel their fears, hopes, dreams etc. Pete took that opportunity to share his thought on life- and how good it was. He spoke in his comfortable fashion that he knew he had an amazing family, great friends, and a good life. I recall him saying that he wanted to be the best son friend boyfriend person to those around him, because they all meant that much to him, and thats just the kind of guy that he was.

Being at UD together was such an amazing time. I think over the past week or so we have all come to realize how lucky we are to have the memories we do, because it means that those experiences were real, and that at one time, we were all together, making it one of the best moments of our lives. I thank God that Pete was in my life, and I am going to sorely miss him.

I have so many memories with Pete that its hard to pin just one down - he is part some of my favorite college memories - and afterwards as well. In college, sledding down Stuart hill, going to our favorite watering holes, playing drinking games late into the night... and then afterwards... He was the first person to call as i was driving from DC to Cincy all those times, making sure i was safe and that i had a place to stay, scheduling dinners with friends so we could all spend some time together. Even though I was far away, our friendship never changed for a minute. He understood so much and was always a person I could count on. So many things in the future will not be the same without him... i love and will miss you Pete...

"The world will be a worse place without him here, but it will never be a terrible place because of the love he spread while he was here."

Birthdays and Fun

I was talking to Danielle last week trying to identify when we first met Pete, I can't remember the exact date or time. But sophomore year our 3 rooms created a triangle and I was seldom in my own room. We were always across the hall playing Super Mario, watching the people on the front of VWK, laughing, joking around and loving our college experience more and more every day. Pete was a huge part of my experience at UD I will miss the long talks, the jokes, the stories, the support, the friendship, the memories, the hugs, and his big blue eyes.. Here are a few pictures ranging from some of my favorite times.. hanging out on the porch at 414, Reds Games, BW3's, Carmel's, Daytona, NYE, Flannys.. many Birthdays, Cheers to you Pete, all my love. Carly

Pics just to bring a smile to your face:)

Just thought I would try to make everyone laugh before I went to bed! Two of my most fun moemories of Pete involve Kurt and Chirs as well. The first, Christams Eve Eve bowling in bowling pin costumes. There needs to be no explanation as to why, it just seemed fun. And of course it was more fun for Pete than anyone else, horiible horrible idea to let him be the bowling ball. I didnt even make it three feet out of the car before I was face planted on the ground and Pete was laughing hysterically yelling strike. I was brusied for weeks after that night and I have never been tackled as much in my life as I was that night. The second pic is of the carnival at UD arena. We got made fun of every year we went but it was so much fun!
Pete was such an incredible friend! He was there for me many of times be it talking to me about my messed up family, going to a wedding last minute, or driving me to West Carrolton in the middle of studying for exams. He was always there to have fun with, laugh with, or talk to! Ill miss you buddy!

Forever Part of Our Family

This is a poem written by Leigh’s grandma years ago. We’ve read it every Thanksgiving Day and we’d like to share it with you as well as a photo of our Ungerbuehler family. Thank you Pete, for being a part of our lives, a part of our family, and for loving Leigh Ann so deeply. We will always love you.

“Thanks God”

For every day that dawn’s anew,
For cloudless skies of endless blue,
We thank you.

For years gone by filled with fun,
For days ahead, with work undone,
We thank you.

For children, who fill and brighten our days,
For the love that they give, in so many ways,
We thank you.

For rainbows of pastel, colorful hue,
For friends who remain forever true,
We thank you.

For mom’s who will forever care,
For dad’s who love and also share,
We thank you.

For birds in the morn, who twitter and sing,
For flowers abloom, announcing the spring,
We thank you.

~Marilyn Ungerbuehler